Posted by Jacque Wambui in Feb 23, 2010, under Uncategorized
This blog is dedicated to my four boys; without which I would not be here writing this :
I have always wanted to write my story….it has been written plenty of times, in magazines, newspaper, spoken on radio and even appeared on national TV. But now I finally get to do it …myself…It’s a long one…over a period of almost six years. I will tell my story as I remember..because some details are not so clear…reasons…some of it may be too hard to remember because…I just cant recall. Though I do get thrown back in time…and that is when I will post my memory.
Today I will write about the events that lead to that fateful day in August 2004.;
I was living a good life….had moved out of home after a tiff off with my parents but had picked myself up and adjusted to life with my three boys in our little room. I was working as a waitress in a restaurant near the C.B.D and had formed a good clientele. And then I met him.
He was very charming but a heavy drinker, heavy. Well he charmed me…. and all our dates were of course in the bar! We had a great time, what do you expect with a date at least twice a week? But he was quite popular with the ladies…so I backed away and got another job…selling beauty products.
In between that I underwent a strange period…I was lazy..always tired and I was always cranky…snapping at my boys and could care less about my appearance…then I got the offer to work in a beauty shop in the suburbs.
Then the blurry vision began. I would look at a white ceiling and see black spots. My chest began to ache and my feet and hands began to swell and i would feel seriously cold all the time. My boss recommended his doctor who had a private practice nearby and his consultation was quite expensive…I began to see Doc. M, he was very nice, took a lot of time with me. he did test after test after test and all were negative…arthritis because of the swelling …even rheumatism…pregnancy because of the nausea…all negative. I was on medication for about three months straight but another ailment would pop up.
Then one morning I woke up with swollen tonsils, I did not eat breakfast and headed off to work in a thick warm coat…in the August heat! I told my work mate who is a pharmacist of the way I was feeling that day and he advised me to go back to the doctor for further tests…I did and walked in at about 4pm..feeling cold and very moody. I met the nurses and I informed them of how I was feeling and one of them quietly suggested that I test for HIV. My first question was why? And she answered..”you are showing most of the symptoms” and I flatly asked her “where could I have gotten HIV”??
The two nurses gave me a long talk about how it is a manageable disease and people live with it and one cannot tell by looking at them. I tried to argue but finally gave in after negotiating the price of the test, down from 500/- to 200/-. My finger was pricked and it was quite painful, I had to wait for the results for 45 minutes. I was put on the observation bed and I fell asleep. Then Doc.M came and the nurse told him I had taken the test. So we had a talk about the same,,how people live with it…etc..etc.. Then the lab guy came in with an envelope and gave it to the doctor. He opened it and said…” I don’t like the results of this test”…and I took the paper and tried to read it. but I could see only a blur and then he told me “Jacque, the results are positive”
I burst into tears…and cried..asking him..why, how, from where? He counseled me, we spoke about my recent relationship and then…i began to ask myself WHO???… until it got dark and I had to go home. He suggested i keep it away from my boss but I said I would tell him so that he would agree for me to have bed rest for five days as recommended by the doctor . I told my boss and I got the bed rest for five days.
Now the question was , how would I break the news to my family?? Especially my father???